Monday, April 7, 2008


So I've been thinking about the human establishment of "friendship" lately; and there is something in particular that I think everyone thinks about even if it's only once in a while.

How can you tell if the person you know is really your friend, or if they are just using you?

Well I've been putting thought into this and I have come up with a few ideas. I have had alot of people in my life, and there are some that I would consider my "best friends." But what is it that makes them a "best friend"? Is it someone who is nice to you and buys you stuff and says that you are like the sister they never had? Or is it someone who hurts you repeatedly and then tries to blame it on something happening in their lives? Or, I will submit another scenario. Is it someone who cares about you and would give their life for you? Someone, whom you may fight with, disagree with, hurt, but someone who you would also die for because of your friendship? Well, if you agreed with my third scenario then I would have to give you my utmost and honest approval.

Now to get to the part about my life. I have a friend who I am very close to. We spend alot of time together and we tell each other everything. Everything from what we ate for lunch, to the guy we are head over heals for, to what we want to do with our lives. But, this friend and I also fight. Oh boy do we fight. I think that she and I have definitely become as close to being sisters as we can be without being blood related. The thing is, I would risk my life for her, and I think she would do the same for me.

John 15:13 says this: "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends." I think that is the truest friendship you could ever have. I am not saying that someone who wouldn't lay down their life for you is not your friend. I am saying merly this, that a friend who would die for you, is someone that you should do everything within your power to stay close to.

Well, I have this other friend. Yes, this friend and I get along swell. We talk all the time. We share secrets. We trust each other. But, she lies about me. She lies to me. She lies about things that are very important. What's even more sad is this, she hurts the other people around me. I can't call someone like this a "best friend." I know her intentions are often good, but at times they are very hurtful. I don't know what to do sometimes when it comes to being friends with this person. She has never hurt me personally, but she has hurt people that I love.

So here is one of my conclusions. If someone hurts you on a regular basis, and adds more pain to your life than one of your best friends does (keeping in mind my definition of a best friend) then I think this; they are not a true friend.

Another question that this brings up is this: What should I do about people like this in my life?

I do not like to give advice to my friends about who they should and shouldn't be friends with because it is not my place to be giving advice like that. Who you let be part of your life should be your decision and your decision alone. I will however tell them that they need to protect themselves. If someone comes at you with a knife, would you not feel it the right thing to do to defend yourself with another weapon? If someone tries to do you physical harm you would not stand there and let them beat you would you? Of course not. It make me wonder why we so often stand there and take the emotional blows that people dish out to us on a regular basis. I mean, should we not try to protect ourselves from those as well?

So I keep on talking and talking about this but what does it all come down to? I have been trying to decide what my point is. I think it is safe to say that it is this: Choose your friends wisely. A good friend is hard to find, but they will last a life time. A bad friend is easy to come by, but often very difficult to get rid of.

So to my friends out there, this is my speach of gratitude. To the people out there who have good friends, I say this; let them know that you value them more than your cell phone, or your next peticure, or your most recent boyfriend, because the truth of the matter is, cell phones go out of date, peticures wear off, boyfriends will hurt you, but a true friend will always be there. My value system tells me that they must be a whole lot more important if that is the case.

So this is the most recent update from the world outside my window. I hope you all realize how lucky you are to have that friend that you are thinking about right now.

and as always,

"vivo amare imparare"


No comments: