Saturday, July 19, 2008


Does anyone know that feeling when you just want to scream at the top of your lungs until your voice compleatly breaks and you can't scream for one more second?

When every ounce of anger and bitterness all comes out at one moment and all those memories flood through your head. When all the things that have been done to you and all the betrayals start pooring down your face through the tears.

God, when everything you have accomplished and every goal, dream, achievement and talent seems to mean absolutely nothing!

I am going to make the understatement of the year. "I don't like that feeling."
I am finally seeing the pointlessness to the life I've been trying to make for myself. I mean sure, it would be nice to have a nice job, car, family eventually, but none of that is going to last! Nothing I can do now can really make me happy for the rest of my life.

Yes, this is an emotional blog. I am so pissed off right now I can't even explain it. So if this all seems a bit "bitter" that's because IT IS!

I'm sick of putting up with all the shit that comes with my life. It's stuff that I don't have to deal with but for some reason I feel like I should be gracious enough to put up with all of it. Being gracious towards others is one thing, being gracious to the point of getting yourself hurt physically and emotionally is another compleately.

In the past couple weeks I have been betrayed by people who I trusted, I have been verbally abused by people who would never actually raise a hand to me, and I have not once stood up to those people. It ends now. I am not saying that I plan on being a rude, mean, cold hearted person. I am saying that I am not going to just stand by and let other people run my life and hurt me anymore. This is my new resolution.

So if this blog were to have any true point to it, it would be this: Stand up for yourself, because God knows, most of the time no one else will stand up for you. If someone is abusing you verbally or physically don't just give in and let it continue. This is for all the people out there who have lost hope in recovering from whatever it is they are going through. Don't give up.