When my world comes crashing down around me I tend to spiral out of control. We all know this is a somewhat common happening. Well, I was told I'm not allowed to spiral out of control this time to cope. I have to be strong. I have to do stuff for myself to make myself feel better. I have to not beat myself up. Well for the first time in my life I really want to keep the promise I made to do this. I always say I won't drink or smoke my sorrows away but I do anyway. This time, I feel almost as though it is a last chance to prove my love; To prove that I will do anything for the person I made this promise to. To regain the trust I so tragically threw away in one drunken night.
You know who you are, and if you are reading this, never, under any circumstances, forget how much I love you. Whether time heals the wounds or the distance lasts forever, never forget my love.
This is my text that will live on forever; after we both are gone. In hopes to remind lovers of the tragedy that can be had from the follies of one poor night; That it is possible to lose the love of your life because of one poor decision. I pray that this is not my fate. I pray for forgiveness and for grace and for truly inspired trust to carry us through. If that is not granted to me however, I will never forget this text; I will never leave it off of my person. It will be a constant reminder to me of the follies of my youth.
Catch A Glimpse
Perfection.
There is no more to say.
Beauty that cannot be washed away.
We caught a glimpse of love.
It's lost in the disaster of one moment.
Regret haunts a soul that was free.
Lost again.
Drowning in the drink.
Forgetting troubles isn't that easy.
A promise to be strong.
A promise to not be me.
A promise to keep going.
Don't let myself be beat.
A promise that proves love?
Maybe.
Last chance to say I'm sorry?
Possible again to become free?
Unlikely.
Given up all hopes.
Thrown away true love
Like one more shot thrown back.
Move on.It's all in the past.
Be strong.
Don't be beat.
Do for yourself;
After all, you're the one in need.
I won't move on.
I must be strong.
Can't forget all of my wrongs.
Won't give in until love returns.
Only love will heal these burns.
Time to recover.
Time to retreat.
Time again,
Don't hit repeat.
I'm done with the past.
Won't drink it away again.
Will it ever be forgiven;
This unspeakable sin?
Love.
Him.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
Realpolitik
This post is going to explore an entirely foreign field for me. I have made it a point in past years, especially recent years, not to write about politics or anything political or controversial for that matter. However, I was sitting in Starbucks yesterday researching "Realpolitik" and political views stemming from Germany; I was reading something on wikipedia and listening to Politik by Coldplay and thinking about a conversation I recently had with my dear friend Daniel and this text came to me. Before I let you read it I ask simply that you scan through this post on wikipedia, especially how Realpolitik relates to realism and the Machiavellian mindset, so as to have a better grasp of what my text speaks of. The link is posted below.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Realpolitik
Now, for my text:
Realpolitik
10-14-10
When the past meets the present
And it blurs into one
Don’t doubt me a moment,
Don’t doubt the passion of one.
When the fires burn,
And the bombs burst away,
Don’t doubt for a second,
Ones power to change.
When freedom is forfeit,
And the world starts to sway,
When truth is forgotten,
We drown in the rain.
Conquer the liars,
Take back from the thieves,
The hope of the nations,
Our right to be free.
In the depths of our torture,
Hearts full of self deceit;
In this world of politics
Can truth compete?
Take back your voices,
Your right to speak;
For truth is our power;
Lies are for the weak.
As you hear me say quite often, please do not take this text at mere face value. For example, I will point out one thing to you and then leave the poem to speak for itself; My lines that say, "When freedom is forfeit and the world starts to sway, when truth is forgotten, we drown in the rain." This is not to be taken at face value.
What I want to get across in this text is that when our basic freedoms to think and speak for ourselves are being taken away by both our government and society itself, and our world starts to sway under lies and ideologies that we ourselves do not want a part in, we drown in the rain. Not rain in it's most basic sense; water. But the reign of our governments who forfeit our freedoms because of ideologies and morals that they believe to be more important. When you approach politics from a realistic and amoral viewpoint, you do not forfeit the greater good for a small group of people or a minute, insignificant mindset held only by a few.
Do not misunderstand me, I do not subscribe to all views held in a Realpolitik world. However, I do agree that in our country and in our world, many times governments compromise in areas that should not be compromised in because they choose ideologies that have been in place for years and years that may actually not be appropriate anymore.
They say grow with the times. If we can grow to accept, value, and respect one another in spite of years and years of slavery and murder because of race and religious beliefs; I think our government needs to grow too. Grow away from ideologies that stem from our government's founding days and step towards progress. Stop putting people in boxes. Stop pushing for equality by segregating one group of people in favor of another. There is a fine balance to be had in a well functioning governmental system; a balance that I by no means claim to understand. All I am here to do is to make you think about the more detailed aspects. Do not just vote on a prop because it claims to do one thing, find out what other things it's going to do and weigh your options, beliefs, and question whether those beliefs are going to benefit others. If they don't, re-evaluate your stance.
Do not be mindless drones in our world. Take back your voices and your right to speak and above all, seek truth. Truth is power; and ultimately truth is what will last in our world and make a real difference.
This is a world I see outside my window. Can you see it too?
Vivo amare imparare.
-The Misunderstood
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Realpolitik
Now, for my text:
Realpolitik
10-14-10
When the past meets the present
And it blurs into one
Don’t doubt me a moment,
Don’t doubt the passion of one.
When the fires burn,
And the bombs burst away,
Don’t doubt for a second,
Ones power to change.
When freedom is forfeit,
And the world starts to sway,
When truth is forgotten,
We drown in the rain.
Conquer the liars,
Take back from the thieves,
The hope of the nations,
Our right to be free.
In the depths of our torture,
Hearts full of self deceit;
In this world of politics
Can truth compete?
Take back your voices,
Your right to speak;
For truth is our power;
Lies are for the weak.
As you hear me say quite often, please do not take this text at mere face value. For example, I will point out one thing to you and then leave the poem to speak for itself; My lines that say, "When freedom is forfeit and the world starts to sway, when truth is forgotten, we drown in the rain." This is not to be taken at face value.
What I want to get across in this text is that when our basic freedoms to think and speak for ourselves are being taken away by both our government and society itself, and our world starts to sway under lies and ideologies that we ourselves do not want a part in, we drown in the rain. Not rain in it's most basic sense; water. But the reign of our governments who forfeit our freedoms because of ideologies and morals that they believe to be more important. When you approach politics from a realistic and amoral viewpoint, you do not forfeit the greater good for a small group of people or a minute, insignificant mindset held only by a few.
Do not misunderstand me, I do not subscribe to all views held in a Realpolitik world. However, I do agree that in our country and in our world, many times governments compromise in areas that should not be compromised in because they choose ideologies that have been in place for years and years that may actually not be appropriate anymore.
They say grow with the times. If we can grow to accept, value, and respect one another in spite of years and years of slavery and murder because of race and religious beliefs; I think our government needs to grow too. Grow away from ideologies that stem from our government's founding days and step towards progress. Stop putting people in boxes. Stop pushing for equality by segregating one group of people in favor of another. There is a fine balance to be had in a well functioning governmental system; a balance that I by no means claim to understand. All I am here to do is to make you think about the more detailed aspects. Do not just vote on a prop because it claims to do one thing, find out what other things it's going to do and weigh your options, beliefs, and question whether those beliefs are going to benefit others. If they don't, re-evaluate your stance.
Do not be mindless drones in our world. Take back your voices and your right to speak and above all, seek truth. Truth is power; and ultimately truth is what will last in our world and make a real difference.
This is a world I see outside my window. Can you see it too?
Vivo amare imparare.
-The Misunderstood
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Past, Present, Future
Some of you may have begun to think that I was never going to return to this online world and update you on my life. I suppose I am just full of surprises.
Inspiration struck a few days ago and I've been writing non-stop. It has been a very long time since I've had the motivation or the passion to write. Thanks to some changes in my life however, I'm back on the trail of what I'm most passionate about in life.
The next two texts are my newest pieces. In Maliciously Restored, I've painted a picture. However, it is up to you to interpret the picture. All I ask is that you attempt not to take the text at face value. In Tracks, you will witness the story of a girl from my past. No, she is not me, for those of you who are curious, but she was one that I was close to. Tracks is her story.
Maliciously Restored
A melancholy memory;
Bitter, yet sweet.
It haunts me.
A smell;
A taste;
Ignites the deepest pain within.
Once forgotten,
Once ignored,
A figment,
Of imagined things.
The voids widen.
Fear chains this
Once beautiful soul,
As I tremble,
At the base of the mountain.
Towering, enveloping,
Shredding all that
Was pure.
A demon.
An innocent.
War.
Peace.
Feeble attempts of freedom.
Loss of hope.
What will cause the
Impending destruction?
Love.
My soul now trembles.
Lyrics abound from within.
As a siren's song;
Captivating, merciless,
Possessed.
Drowning.
Enveloping all within
It's arms.
Destroying the weak;
Freeing, strengthening,
Empowering the strong.
Silence.
Nothingness.
A blank canvas.
Now pure; now beautiful.
Free.
Inspiration struck a few days ago and I've been writing non-stop. It has been a very long time since I've had the motivation or the passion to write. Thanks to some changes in my life however, I'm back on the trail of what I'm most passionate about in life.
The next two texts are my newest pieces. In Maliciously Restored, I've painted a picture. However, it is up to you to interpret the picture. All I ask is that you attempt not to take the text at face value. In Tracks, you will witness the story of a girl from my past. No, she is not me, for those of you who are curious, but she was one that I was close to. Tracks is her story.
Maliciously Restored
A melancholy memory;
Bitter, yet sweet.
It haunts me.
A smell;
A taste;
Ignites the deepest pain within.
Once forgotten,
Once ignored,
A figment,
Of imagined things.
The voids widen.
Fear chains this
Once beautiful soul,
As I tremble,
At the base of the mountain.
Towering, enveloping,
Shredding all that
Was pure.
A demon.
An innocent.
War.
Peace.
Feeble attempts of freedom.
Loss of hope.
What will cause the
Impending destruction?
Love.
My soul now trembles.
Lyrics abound from within.
As a siren's song;
Captivating, merciless,
Possessed.
Drowning.
Enveloping all within
It's arms.
Destroying the weak;
Freeing, strengthening,
Empowering the strong.
Silence.
Nothingness.
A blank canvas.
Now pure; now beautiful.
Free.
TRACKS
V.1
Drugs, They’re your easiest escape.
Role one more blunt,
Cause bad news,
It can always wait.
C.
Stumble across those tracks
Just one more time.
The tracks of lost dreams,
They run along your veins
And through your mind.
You can’t tell where they go no more.
You can’t tell anything,
Can’t tell anything for sure.
V.2
Which way’s up, which way’s down?
Don’t care no more.
You just want out,
Out of this god forsaken town.
V.3
They said “see that girl she shows no promise.”
You said you’d show them,
You’d make yourself honest.
But it takes one night
And you’re a liar again.
Oh! Baby girl,
It’s too late to make amends.
C.
Stumble across those tracks
Just one more time.
The tracks of lost dreams,
They run along your veins
And through your mind.
You can’t tell where they go no more.
You can’t tell anything,
Can’t tell anything for sure.
V.4
I knew a girl
With long lost dreams.
She had bright eyes
And a hope for new things.
But then came those demons
Demons from the past.
They go by names
Like “Pixie Dust” and “Stacks.”
V.5
They all told her “you just gotta be brave.”
But there’s no hope
If you don’t want to be saved.
They will give you therapy
Give you a way out.
Give you New Drugs,
To flush those demons out.
B.
Well she’s lived with those demons
Every dark and empty day.
They’ve become her friends,
She doesn’t want them,
She doesn’t want them to go away.
C.
Stumble across those tracks
Just one more time.
The tracks of lost dreams,
They run along your veins
And through your mind.
You can’t tell where they go no more.
You can’t tell anything,
Can’t tell anything for sure.
Where those tracks go,
No one knows for sure.
Drugs, They’re your easiest escape.
Role one more blunt,
Cause bad news,
It can always wait.
C.
Stumble across those tracks
Just one more time.
The tracks of lost dreams,
They run along your veins
And through your mind.
You can’t tell where they go no more.
You can’t tell anything,
Can’t tell anything for sure.
V.2
Which way’s up, which way’s down?
Don’t care no more.
You just want out,
Out of this god forsaken town.
V.3
They said “see that girl she shows no promise.”
You said you’d show them,
You’d make yourself honest.
But it takes one night
And you’re a liar again.
Oh! Baby girl,
It’s too late to make amends.
C.
Stumble across those tracks
Just one more time.
The tracks of lost dreams,
They run along your veins
And through your mind.
You can’t tell where they go no more.
You can’t tell anything,
Can’t tell anything for sure.
V.4
I knew a girl
With long lost dreams.
She had bright eyes
And a hope for new things.
But then came those demons
Demons from the past.
They go by names
Like “Pixie Dust” and “Stacks.”
V.5
They all told her “you just gotta be brave.”
But there’s no hope
If you don’t want to be saved.
They will give you therapy
Give you a way out.
Give you New Drugs,
To flush those demons out.
B.
Well she’s lived with those demons
Every dark and empty day.
They’ve become her friends,
She doesn’t want them,
She doesn’t want them to go away.
C.
Stumble across those tracks
Just one more time.
The tracks of lost dreams,
They run along your veins
And through your mind.
You can’t tell where they go no more.
You can’t tell anything,
Can’t tell anything for sure.
Where those tracks go,
No one knows for sure.
****************
I won't bore you with my rants and ramblings today. I will just leave you with something to think about.
Society. Think about society. What is it that truly enables people to go down the path that leads to lost dreams and tracks? They say that those who chose this life are just ill. Mentally, physically, who knows, just in some way ill. But society is what labels them. Without labels what are we? We are just all human beings. Equal, good, all with a fair chance to make it in this world. If you tell someone they are destined to fail, to fall flat on their face and never make it in life; if you tell them this their entire life, don't you think they might start to believe it's true? Think about your labels. What are you contributing to society? What is society doing to you?
That's my view of the world outside my window.
Vivo amare imparare
-The Misunderstood
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