Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas

Or whatever you want to call it. Seriously now, whatever you want to call the holiday is fine with me. But what I'm calling it is Christmas.

As the end of the year approaches there are many things I've learned. Some of these I have learned the easy way and others I have learned through allot of difficult experiences. First of all, I learned that I have been lying to myself for a long time. By the way, I would be lying to you too if I said this is going to be an upbeat post. But as I was saying, I was lying to myself for a long time. One of the things I have always said I lived by and I encouraged my friends to live by as well is to live your own life. I have always said I live my life and don't let anyone live it for me. I was wrong about that. For so long I've really been letting people control me. I've been letting my fear of what people think of me control the way I act. But I'm not letting that happen anymore. That's one of my soon to be new years resolutions.

Something else I've learned this year is that I am not invincible. I've been sick since May and I'm not really getting much better. I need to go see a nutritionist and have tons of stuff done to help my immune system and it terrifies me. Thus, invincibility seems to be unachievable to me at the current time.

What else is there that I've learned? I learned that I'm not as good at putting up walls as I thought I was. Hannah's inner dialogue once said "I'm not even going to have a boyfriend until I'm finished getting my AA. That way I can focus on school and what's really important. Besides, what guy is going to be interested in me anyway when I'm this busy?" My inner dialogue was wrong! Since I last thought that my life has completely changed. I found someone amazing and I'm really happy with him. I never thought that I would find someone as early in life as I have. But I'm completely thrilled I have. If you want to know more about this you'll just have to email me and ask. No more pointless details now. But to finish up with this, I have learned allot about what love is and how much commitment it requires. Love isn't that lovey dovey stuff you always hear about. It's being completely committed to someone through the best and worst of times. Emphasis on the worst of times. That requires allot of maturity which I was really amazed to find out I actually have.

Back to the Christmas part of this blog. My family celebrated Christmas yesterday on Christmas Eve which is according to our tradition and it was one of the best Christmas's I've ever had. I really loved spending time with my family and of course I got good gifts. New laptop anyone? I got a new laptop for the new semester. This is something that will definitely help with my English class. My laptop was by far my favourite present this year. But the best part of Christmas was still spending it with my family. Of course it would have been nice to spend it with this special guy that I mentioned above but alas, we will have to wait a couple more days to see each other. Oh thank you holidays for depriving me of a social life.

Now, what's the new year looking life for me you may ask. I'm going to be busy! It's called school and work my friends; school and work are the two things that take up my whole life. There will be far more work this semester than last semester however. Two days a week will be devoted to school from 9am till 10pm. The rest of the days will be devoted to work. Growing up is not nearly as much fun as I thought it would be when I was younger and daydreaming about being an adult.

This concludes my Christmas blog and my view of the world outside my window for today.

I hope everyone has a great Christmas, and if you don't hear from me again until January have a wonderful new year.

As always,
Vivo amare imparare

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