As the News Reel Plays on

So it is becoming more and more common for me to open up my blogs with the lyrics of songs... I suppose that when I am lacking time to compose poetic illustrations of my life, other people's illustrations will have to suffice.

Dismantle Repair- Anberlin

"One last glance from a taxi cab
Images scar my mind
Four weeks've felt like years
Since your full attention was all mine
The night was young and so were we
Talked about life, God, death, and your family
Didn't want any promises,
Just my undivided honesty, and you said

Oh oh, things are gonna change now for the better
Oh oh, things are gonna change, oh, they're gonna change
I am the patron saint of lost causes
A fraction of who I once believed (change)only a matter of time
Opinions I would try and rewrite
If life had background music playing your song
I've got to be honest, I tried to escape you But the orchestra plays on, and they sang

Oh oh, things are gonna change now for the better
Oh oh, things are gonna change"

***********************

That was a quick little summary of a fragment of my life as of late. I have been dealing with allot in my life in the last few months, but in the end it all seems to just dismantle and repair itself. I don't know how, but in the last few months I've had many trials in my life, and yet, all I seem to be able to focus on is the good stuff. Thank God for that right. I could be focusing on my lack of car, (transmission just went out) my lack of money, (haven't been getting many hours at work) my being so sick that I can't work the shifts I do get, but, I've been focusing on the fact that I only have 6 months left of school, I have a couple internship offers, I have one job offer, I have this pretty great guy in my life that I'm slowly but surly pulling into my mess of what I call a life. I'm focusing on the good things!

As I said in my mess of an intro above, I've been going through ALLOT! Another thing to add to the list is that I have been having allot of problems in my church. There are a ton of people who are supposedly leaving because of me. And there have been people who are even trying to split the church apart. I've been attacked by one person, literally, physically attacked. And, I have to get a restraining order against said person. So my trust in God is being tested lately. But I've been praying and looking to Him for guidance and it all seems to be working out in the end. God has a sense of humor though because he keeps putting ironic things in my life to look at and go "really? God are you seriously going to make me deal with this too?" and He pretty much just says "yeah.... have fun. I'm here for you." At least everything is working out in the end though.

I've also been in school 40 hours a week and working about 21 hours a week lately. I thought I had allot more endurance until I started doing so much! I honestly have worked myself sick. I now have to take almost a week off from school and work so that I can recover. And believe me when I say that my school and my employer are not very happy about that.

A positive thing to bring up however, is this; School is going really well. I have become allot more confident in the things I do on a regular basis. I suppose that's a good thing seeing as how I plan on being a hair dresser for a living. If I wasn't comfortable then that would be very disconcerting for many people.

Anyway, that is the short update for now. I have to go get some sleep. Yes I know it's the middle of the morning, but this cold is taking a tole on me.

As of right now, that's all I can see of the world outside my window.

~The Misunderstood

Merry Christmas

Or whatever you want to call it. Seriously now, whatever you want to call the holiday is fine with me. But what I'm calling it is Christmas.

As the end of the year approaches there are many things I've learned. Some of these I have learned the easy way and others I have learned through allot of difficult experiences. First of all, I learned that I have been lying to myself for a long time. By the way, I would be lying to you too if I said this is going to be an upbeat post. But as I was saying, I was lying to myself for a long time. One of the things I have always said I lived by and I encouraged my friends to live by as well is to live your own life. I have always said I live my life and don't let anyone live it for me. I was wrong about that. For so long I've really been letting people control me. I've been letting my fear of what people think of me control the way I act. But I'm not letting that happen anymore. That's one of my soon to be new years resolutions.

Something else I've learned this year is that I am not invincible. I've been sick since May and I'm not really getting much better. I need to go see a nutritionist and have tons of stuff done to help my immune system and it terrifies me. Thus, invincibility seems to be unachievable to me at the current time.

What else is there that I've learned? I learned that I'm not as good at putting up walls as I thought I was. Hannah's inner dialogue once said "I'm not even going to have a boyfriend until I'm finished getting my AA. That way I can focus on school and what's really important. Besides, what guy is going to be interested in me anyway when I'm this busy?" My inner dialogue was wrong! Since I last thought that my life has completely changed. I found someone amazing and I'm really happy with him. I never thought that I would find someone as early in life as I have. But I'm completely thrilled I have. If you want to know more about this you'll just have to email me and ask. No more pointless details now. But to finish up with this, I have learned allot about what love is and how much commitment it requires. Love isn't that lovey dovey stuff you always hear about. It's being completely committed to someone through the best and worst of times. Emphasis on the worst of times. That requires allot of maturity which I was really amazed to find out I actually have.

Back to the Christmas part of this blog. My family celebrated Christmas yesterday on Christmas Eve which is according to our tradition and it was one of the best Christmas's I've ever had. I really loved spending time with my family and of course I got good gifts. New laptop anyone? I got a new laptop for the new semester. This is something that will definitely help with my English class. My laptop was by far my favourite present this year. But the best part of Christmas was still spending it with my family. Of course it would have been nice to spend it with this special guy that I mentioned above but alas, we will have to wait a couple more days to see each other. Oh thank you holidays for depriving me of a social life.

Now, what's the new year looking life for me you may ask. I'm going to be busy! It's called school and work my friends; school and work are the two things that take up my whole life. There will be far more work this semester than last semester however. Two days a week will be devoted to school from 9am till 10pm. The rest of the days will be devoted to work. Growing up is not nearly as much fun as I thought it would be when I was younger and daydreaming about being an adult.

This concludes my Christmas blog and my view of the world outside my window for today.

I hope everyone has a great Christmas, and if you don't hear from me again until January have a wonderful new year.

As always,
Vivo amare imparare
-Hannah

Work, School, Work, School, Does it ever end?

I think everyone would agree that it absolutely "blows" to be a journalism student and have writer's block. Am I right? Classes are about to start up and I am having writer's block with the simplist of things. I definitely need some inspiration. I plan on finding some this week before school starts up.

For now however I'll update everyone on my life. I'm finally enrolled in classes and am taking some really great courses this semester. Philosophy, English, Sociology, and Nutrition. All of them are classes I'm excited about. All of them will require allot of writing; and allot of them will require allot of reading. So, I will be really busy this semester. I'm working one job right now and in september I'll have another one lined up for about 5 months of work. Two jobs and school; what am I thinking?!

I know what I'm thinking. Two jobs and a year of school equal a few months of freedom in Europe. I will be able to get away and clear my head so that I will be ready for the next 4 years or so of school. Traveling expenses are not my favorite thing in the world. But, there is no way to avoid spending all that money. Living in youth hostels will only save so much.

So that's basically it for the short version of an update on my life. I have allot going on right now but it's way to much to write. So you'll have to be patient for my next post. ^_^
As for now, that's it for the world outside my window.

vivo amare imparare
Hannah