The tragedies of over thinking and under acting

Ok, I am going to start this blog off by saying, that below is something I wrote last night. I did not have a computer so I did something extreamly out of character. I picked up a pen and some paper and started to scrawl it out. I have not done that for a very long time, but this was far to important to leave to write till the next day. This blog is directed more towards women than men. But you guys are welcome to read it, maybe you will learn a few things too.

**********************************************************************************

This is one for all you cynics out there.
Why is it that so constantly, all of the seemingly "good" men out there are often attached to women who's IQ's are lower than Britney Spear's and Paris Hilton's IQ's pooled together? Come on ladies, Haven't most of us thought this at least once in our life, even if it was only for a moment? Is it because they feel impowered because they are smarter? (I use the word "smart" loosly) Is it all just a power trip? Do "they," those females who laugh at everything and seem to think only about nonsense really have anything we are incapable of posessing?

All of my writing up until this point seems to be nothing but a never ending stream of questions. However, I am now going to give some of my answers. First off, why do men choose the above described type of women? I do not have an answer for this. Now wait! Before you give up and decide not to read any further because I am dissapointing you, STOP! I am going to say something important. Ready? Not all men choose women like that. Just because he may appear "good" does not mean he is. Also, the type of woman a man chooses says alot about him.

What do you think when you see a guy who is out with a total, well, a total tramp? Do you think he is dating her to find out what her favourite book is? I think not. But there are a few "good" men out there who truely not only appear good, but indeed are. Ladies, what I am trying to say is this: THERE IS HOPE!! Do not settle. Never settle for less, because one of those good ones may come along one day and you will be taken, so he will move on.

Now, time for some tough love. Not all of the blame can be placed on men for dating the type of women I described earlier. You may complain and say that it is unfair that "he" would choose someone like that over you. But hear me now. There is always a reason. Now for that tough love. I said earlier, do they "really have anything we are incapable of posessing?" The answer to that is no. Flat out NO. However, they do have some things many of us often ignore as being important qualities when we are in a relationship.

1. A good sense of humor
2. Enjoying HIM. (don't panic! info to come.)
3. Having fun

Now as far as number one is concerned, a good sense of humor is key. Ok, now I am going to be a bit "harsh" as some of my friends call me. Many women refuse to find their man's jokes funny. Now, do not get me wrong, I know that alot of the time, they are not funny, but when they are, we often refuse to laugh. This is a strange phenomenon, but you must agree that it often occurs.

Number two. Enjoying HIM. Ok, this probably comes accross as confusing to some of you, but I will try to explain myself. Enjoy who he is, not who you want to make him into. Laugh at his dumb jokes. Love how he can make you laugh at anything. Tell him how much you adore that he can always cheer you up just by being there. LET him cheer you up. All these things seem totally simple right? that's because they are! We are often just to preoccupied with thinking because of that high IQ of our's that we forget to do the little things.

Number three. Have fun. I know what you are thinking. "She's kidding right? We all know how to have fun." Well I am not going to tell you how to have fun, but I am going to tell you it is something we often overlook. Why? Let me give you an example. You are cooking an amazing, romantic dinner for you and your significant other. The pasta burns. You spill sugar all over the floor. (OH MY GOSH!! ANTS!) And your precious dog decides to chew up your favourite pair of shoes. Therefore, he get's there and says, "let's go to the pizza parlor." Are you likely going to have much fun under the circumstances? No. Why? Because you are stressed out because you think everything was ruined for the night. Here is what you should learn to do. Let go of yourself. Have fun. Because, no matter where you are, what you are eating, or what you are wearing on your feet, all that matters is him. We get so stressed out that we forget to have fun. So remember to enjoy him, because it is the most important thing.

Just doing these three little things makes you more appealing to those "good" men. Why? Because they want the real you. Not the stressed out, compleatly not fun version you become once you have a boyfriend. Like I tell many people, my motto is "vivo amare imparare." English, "I live to love and to learn." Live your life. Love those people you have, and learn from that which you love so dearly.

Now as a fun, slightly demented and yet quirky side note, I would like to share a break up quote that one of my best friends shared with me.

There are phases of a break up

1. Not believing it's true.

2. Realizing it is true.

3. Crying because you feel as if you have lost your best f riend.

4. ANGER.

5. Considering thoughts of keying his car.

6. Keying his car with your friends.

7. Regretting keying his car.

8. Finalizing that you will never talk to him again.

Now that you have read something slightly humorous, I ask that you put up with me just a little bit longer.

I do not claim to be an expert on romance. God know's I've done my fair share of ruining good things myself. However, I have learned some from my many mistakes. I've gone through the "being jaded" phase, where I wouldn't let any guy into my heart. Believe me though, that is a mistake. The facts are these: Men will love you. Men will hurt you. Men will betray you. And one day, you will find the one you are meant to be with forever. He will love you. He will hurt you; but he will never betray you. "patience is a virtue."; it is a virtue that we should all strive to have. So I am not going to say that "one day your prince will come." I find that far to cliche. (besides, we all know that princes have major power trips. Egotism as well. I think it comes from "saving" to many maidens.) I will say this: One day, you will see clearly. I cannot say what you will see, or when this will h appen. It's different for everyone, but when it happens, everything will feel right, even if only for that moment.

As Always,

"vivo amare imparare"

~Hannah~

Dream a little dream of me

So you want to know what's new with me today do you?

Well today my life has been crazy. I would like to address the topic of "dreams." Dreams can take on a number of different characteristics. They can be exciting. They can be scary. They can be fun. They can be terribly boring. Personally, my dreams usually take on the characteristics of multiple clashing things.

Last night for example, I had a dream that I am still deciding about. I can't tell if I should call it a nightmare, or a good dream. It was good, and bad, all at the same time. I enjoyed it, and yet, when I woke up I felt terrible because of it. I would guess that most people know the kind of dream I'm talking about.

Moving on. I played tennis today. Tennis is definitely one of my most favorite pass times. I play with whoever will play with me. I don't care if they are amazing players, or if they can hardly get the ball over the net. I just love to play.

Oh, now for the exciting and confusing part of my life. I have a friend who's brother lives in another state. I've been friends with their family for a really long time. Every single time he comes to visit I end up confused for months. Right about the time I get unconfused, he comes for another visit and bammm the cycle starts all over again. *rolls eyes*. It's an interesting thing friendship is. One moment, you can be practically enemies with a person, and the next, it's like you've been good friends with them your whole life.

Well, I have decided that I am not who I used to be. You know, it's interesting how we so often try to remain the way we have been in the past, just for the sake of not changing. We are so scared of change. I have decided however, that it is about time I accept the fact that I have changed. People who have known me my whole life, would probably agree with this conclusion. I have tried for so long to pretend that I'm the perfect, inocent girl I always used to be. Because man, people grow up, and they are not so inocent anymore. Life changes us, people change us, circumstances and experiences also change us. When you finally accept yourself for who you are, I've realized other people start accepting you to.

I have had some good experiences that have changed me for the better; and I have had some bad experiences that have left me jaded. The thing is, you can't grow up without changing into someone new. Life leaves scars. I have learned to deal with them. Life also gives us things that make up for all those scars; like love, and friendship, and family.

Well that's it for the world outside my window for today.

As Always,

"vivo amare imparare"

~Hannah~

Friendship

So I've been thinking about the human establishment of "friendship" lately; and there is something in particular that I think everyone thinks about even if it's only once in a while.

How can you tell if the person you know is really your friend, or if they are just using you?

Well I've been putting thought into this and I have come up with a few ideas. I have had alot of people in my life, and there are some that I would consider my "best friends." But what is it that makes them a "best friend"? Is it someone who is nice to you and buys you stuff and says that you are like the sister they never had? Or is it someone who hurts you repeatedly and then tries to blame it on something happening in their lives? Or, I will submit another scenario. Is it someone who cares about you and would give their life for you? Someone, whom you may fight with, disagree with, hurt, but someone who you would also die for because of your friendship? Well, if you agreed with my third scenario then I would have to give you my utmost and honest approval.

Now to get to the part about my life. I have a friend who I am very close to. We spend alot of time together and we tell each other everything. Everything from what we ate for lunch, to the guy we are head over heals for, to what we want to do with our lives. But, this friend and I also fight. Oh boy do we fight. I think that she and I have definitely become as close to being sisters as we can be without being blood related. The thing is, I would risk my life for her, and I think she would do the same for me.

John 15:13 says this: "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends." I think that is the truest friendship you could ever have. I am not saying that someone who wouldn't lay down their life for you is not your friend. I am saying merly this, that a friend who would die for you, is someone that you should do everything within your power to stay close to.

Well, I have this other friend. Yes, this friend and I get along swell. We talk all the time. We share secrets. We trust each other. But, she lies about me. She lies to me. She lies about things that are very important. What's even more sad is this, she hurts the other people around me. I can't call someone like this a "best friend." I know her intentions are often good, but at times they are very hurtful. I don't know what to do sometimes when it comes to being friends with this person. She has never hurt me personally, but she has hurt people that I love.

So here is one of my conclusions. If someone hurts you on a regular basis, and adds more pain to your life than one of your best friends does (keeping in mind my definition of a best friend) then I think this; they are not a true friend.

Another question that this brings up is this: What should I do about people like this in my life?

I do not like to give advice to my friends about who they should and shouldn't be friends with because it is not my place to be giving advice like that. Who you let be part of your life should be your decision and your decision alone. I will however tell them that they need to protect themselves. If someone comes at you with a knife, would you not feel it the right thing to do to defend yourself with another weapon? If someone tries to do you physical harm you would not stand there and let them beat you would you? Of course not. It make me wonder why we so often stand there and take the emotional blows that people dish out to us on a regular basis. I mean, should we not try to protect ourselves from those as well?

So I keep on talking and talking about this but what does it all come down to? I have been trying to decide what my point is. I think it is safe to say that it is this: Choose your friends wisely. A good friend is hard to find, but they will last a life time. A bad friend is easy to come by, but often very difficult to get rid of.

So to my friends out there, this is my speach of gratitude. To the people out there who have good friends, I say this; let them know that you value them more than your cell phone, or your next peticure, or your most recent boyfriend, because the truth of the matter is, cell phones go out of date, peticures wear off, boyfriends will hurt you, but a true friend will always be there. My value system tells me that they must be a whole lot more important if that is the case.

So this is the most recent update from the world outside my window. I hope you all realize how lucky you are to have that friend that you are thinking about right now.

and as always,

"vivo amare imparare"

~Hannah~